Understanding YOUR anxiety and recognizing it's patterns and behaviors. Being kind to yourself. Channeling anxious energy into productive energy and turn your day around.
You wake up to the sound of your alarm and so begins another day. Everything seems to be okay. You feel fine, calm, maybe a little more tired than you'd like. Wishing you had extra time to get ready for work, school, or your daily routine. Suddenly, everything you must accomplish that day floods into your mind and immediately you're overwhelmed. What feels like a minute is really twenty minutes passed by. Now you have to rush to make breakfast, get coffee, get dressed, study-- everything you have to get done seems impossible. It isn't enough time. You can feel your heartbeat fluttering. Your breath is the last thing on your mind and your thoughts touching every possible concern. Your surroundings are a blur along with your vision as tears begin to well up in your eyes. Of all the thoughts running through your mind the only ones that seems to be present now are, "No. Not again. Why do I do this? What is wrong with me? Stop acting like this. This is ridiculous. Don't let it get to you. " After reaching the point of no return, you give up and break down. Time to just stop and let the emotions flow.
Does this sound familiar? It might. But it may be completely foreign to you. This is my anxiety. I have gotten to know her pretty well. Sometimes I think we will never meet again. I forget what she's like. I forget just how easily she appears and takes over my emotions. She knows how to break down my walls and make me feel weak. She knows how to make me doubt myself. My confidence, motivation, capabilities... everything I know about myself. Yep, I know her pretty well. But I certainly haven't learnt how to beat her and that is okay. She won't ever leave me completely. She is part of me, but she does not make me who I am.
Your anxiety is most likely much different from mine, but I am sure it resembles the same overwhelming feeling. I experienced my anxiety this morning much like the scenario I wrote above. It kept me from going to school and lead to me writing this post. This is my way of channeling that negative energy and using it for something good. It took an hour or two to get some clarity but in the end I am thankful that I have this time to write and talk about something that affects so many people.
For so long I didn't even use the word "anxiety". Let alone call it "my" anxiety. I guess I felt it would give that emotion too much power over me. But quite the contrary. What it does is validate that emotion and the experiences. It did me no good to ignore it and pretend that it didn't exist. Since getting to know my anxiety and accepting that some days it is more present that others, it has become less frequent.
Here are my favorite tips for managing my anxiety:
Let it happen- If you have reached the point where you feel you are losing control, sometimes the best thing is to breathe through it rather than fight it. Let the emotions flow and run their course. Anxiety can also be a sign to tell you that you have been holding too much in and you need an emotional release.
Breathe and take a minute. When you're anxious, breathing deeply and getting a hold of yourself is the last thing you want to do. But there are times where taking deep breath and taking a minute to regain clarity and keep it from getting to far.
See, feel, hear- When you are at the height of anxiety sometimes this tip can be really helpful. Look around the room and name 3 things, one you can see, one you can feel, and one you can hear. This exercise helps ground you and bring you back into the moment. You can continue to do this until you begin to feel calm again.
Be kind to yourself- I am not very good at this one. My initial instinct when I am anxious is to beat myself up and tell myself how stupid it is that I let it get the best of me. But it only makes matters worse and wastes my precious time. So I encourage myself to be kind and validate those feelings that are overwhelming me by telling myself that it is okay that it was too much for me this time. Sometimes we just say to ourselves, "Nope. Not today. Today is a me day and I am going to respect that."
Give yourself a restart- Do jus that, restart--Take a shower, meditate, pray, go on a walk. Do something that resets your mind. Think positively and move on. In the moment it is okay for your anxiety to get the best of you. But certainly do not let it ruin your day. Each day is so precious. Just give yourself the time you need to get the point where you can move on with your day.
Breathing exercises- My favorite exercise is the 4-7-8 breathing technique. You simply inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, and breathe out your mouth for 8 counts. This is a great exercise that calms your sympathetic nervous system (this is the system that controls our fight or fight response). Do this exercise 3 times in a row.
Like I said, my anxiety will never go away. But it isn't about getting rid of it as much as it is about learning what to do when it happens. The most important thing is to acknowledge that is there and knowing that it isn't who you are. Be gracious to yourself because you are not alone.
That's all for now,
Kare
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